Reflections of 2009

Disclaimer: People, who know me well, are aware that reading and writing have never been my greatest talent. I would rather deal with numbers than write or read anything; and hence that is why I am a bean counter (aka accountant). Such that when sisi suggested I start a blog, I never thought I would succumb to the pressure. So I apologize in advance if at times my writings may seem disorganized or incoherent. Just bear with me and try to get the jist of the blog, lolol.

So hello to you all in blogsville, I hope I find you well. I have been debating on what my first blog should be on. So seeing as 2009 is coming to an end in two months I thought this would take time to reflect on some of the happenings of the year, life changing and random. So here goes:

1. Pregnancy:

So in January I started my accounting career, and granted I was three months pregnant and I should have known that it was probably not the best time to enter a new field. I was working 10 - 12 hour days, and was consistently exhausted. But, I thought that being pregnant would be a breeze, I mean I had heard talk of how lovely the whole pregnancy experience was, and one of my friends' consistently talked about how lovely her pregnancy was and how she would do it all over again in a heartbeat. But I later realized that a lot of this was utter nonsense. Don't get me wrong, the fact that a human being can literally from nothing, shows how amazing our Creator is. But, I really do wish that women would be honest and stop making those of us whose pregnancies are not so enjoyable feel inadequate.

When the day came for me to have my little girl to be cut out of me (C-Section), I told the doctor to give whatever medication was available. I mean really I was not the first person to have a child and therefore there was really nothing for me to prove. So I was wheeled into the operating room and after thirty minutes of tugging and pulling, my daughter was born at 11:59 am. When they brought her to me for the first time I did not bond with her immediately, maybe it was the hormones. I knew she was my child but I really did not feel much of a connection with her. For the next two days people were in and out of my hospital room and I put on a happy face, because in my culture we do not talk about our feelings, for example not feeling like you would do anything for this child or not feeling a deep love for the person who just came out of you.

However, on the third day after everyone had left, that is when it happened. And for some unknown reason when I held her in my arms that night the water works started. I just could not fathom that this was my child and she was so precious and beautiful she. All of a sudden when my husband wanted to take her back to the hospital nursery I felt as though we were abandoning her. It was at that moment that I instantly fell in love with her, and till now I do not understand how it is possible to love someone you just met so deeply.

I ask myself now, would I ever put myself through another nine months of exhaustion, swollen feet and all that jazz. And the answer is yes, because becoming and being a mother is truly a blessing and the "trauma" of pregnancy seems worth it at the end of the day.

2. Murora wangu wechirungu (My white sister-in-law)

Three days before the birth of my daughter, my brother got married. 'Brother' getting married deserves mentioning not just because he is my brother, but because the induction of murora, 'Emma' into our family has really made me a more accepting person.

In the summer of 2006, brother had called me and said there was someone he wanted me to meet. Sezvineyi (Coincidently) sisi was visiting from Zimbabwe and she also shared in my excitement. The day came for us too meet this special lady. I opened the door there she was, Brother's girlfriend, petite, a smile that could melt your heart, and wait; for it she was a MURUNGU (white). My response was one of shock and horror, cause shuwa shuwa 'Brother' kuunza murungu mumhuri (As in seriouusly, for Brother to bring a white person into the family).

Why I responded in this manner still baffles me. I grew up with varungu (white people) since I was a baby. I had gone to school with white people and even had white friends. But, the idea of 'Brother' marrying a white person was a concept that I had a hard time wrapping my mind around.

But, over the years as I have gotten to know Emma more, I too have fallen in love with her. And as cliché and corny as this sounds I can also say "it is not the color of a person's skin that matters but what is inside and don't judge a book by its cover." LOLOL, my murora has brought out the best in 'Brother' and that is really all I could ask for right, a happy brother, lol. And now at Christmas I am guaranteed of receiving lovely presents, because white people are really good at giving good presents.

One of my friends reminded me of a question I once asked her years ago. "Gertrude” I said, “What do your parents think of the fact that your brother is marrying a white person." Her response was “I don't know Mrs. X." Many years later "Gertrude" asked me the same question, my response was simple “I don't know about my parents, but me I love my murora.”

3. My drug of choice

For the past 13 years my drug of choice has been soap operas, and not just any soap opera "Days of our lives". When it comes to "Days of our lives" it has been difficult for me to stop watching, and believe me I have tried. Not because I know that it is a waste of time for me too watch these fictional characters that sometimes get possessed by demons, die six or so times. Sometimes I stop watching because the show is not advancing a plot I want. So this past month after some reflection, mmm. I realized it was time to kick the bucket and stop watching this nonsense. However, this past weekend after talking to mama I realized that Days of our lives is not a fictional concept and it is truly a depiction of real life and if I stopped watching I could lose out on many life lessons portrayed in "Days". Let me validate this statement, please bear with me:

So in December sisi told me of how Gwisai Mupandawana had gotten a girl named 'Memory' pregnant. This initially came as a shock to me, not because he had made a girl pregnant out of wedlock, but, because he had enough game to even attract a girl. For as long as I can remember, Gwisai has always been extremely uncomfortable speaking to girls or even being in the same room as one. And for the most part his mother has always done the seeking of potential girlfriends and has been on a mission to find him a wife whose family has good morals and a good in standing the community.

'Gwisai', being 28 and all decided to try and fly on his own, and by finding a girl without his mother’s assistance. So the story goes as follows:

'Gwisai' meets a girl named Memory, gets Memory pregnant. And Memory meets her potential mother in law. Mother in law hates Memory. Mother in law and who in turn calls up all her friends saying "Zvandaka zoitirwa naGwisai rwendo runo, kundiunzira musikana waakanonga murhodhi" (You won't believe what Gwisai did he brought a girl he met on the road into my home).

The Mother in law came to terms with her disappointment and accepted pregnancy and her new murora. Memory did everything that a responsible pregnant woman would do. She went for her monthly doctor visits, had an ultra sound done. She even returned with ultra sound pictures and wonderful news that Gwisai and her were having a girl, and she would be named Ntha in honor of Mai Mupandawana.

Mai Mupandawana senior travelled to America for a wedding, whilst in America knowing that her new daughter in law's due date was two weeks over due, her friends asked her "komuzukuru haasati azvarwa nanhasi."(Your granddaughter still has not been born?) She responds and saying "No ndofunga akatadza kucalculata due date yake, nekuti haana kungwara." (No, I think she miscalculated her due date, because she is not clever). Mai Mupandawana returned from America with gifts for her soon to arrive muzukuru (grandchild) Ntha junior. Upon her arrival she was told that her murora had the baby, but unfortunately she was still born. Condolences started pouring in from her friends and those of us in the Diaspora who sent emailing expressing how sorry we were that their family had gone through this terrible ordeal.

Weeks later Mai Mupandawana calls her son Gwisai and asks him to come over so she could fully understand what really happened with the birth of her muzukuru. According to Gwisai, he had woken up and gone to work like any other day. When he returned home he found his wife at home as usual. However, while Gwisai was at work, Memory had gone into labor, caught an E.T. (emergency taxi or bus) to the hospital, had the baby, cremated the baby and managed to return home to greet Gwisai after a long day at work. At this point, any logical person would have asked how Memory had managed to do all this while Gwisai was at work and where the baby's death certificate was. But, not Gwisai. Mai Mupandawana, baffled by her son’s explanation instructed him to go and further question his wife and ask her to take him to the doctor who delivered and issued the baby's death certificate. As instructed by his mother Gwisai went home and asked Memory for a death certificate. she quickly began protesting stating that Gwisai's mother is trying to come between them and just as long as they understood each other they were fine. After further interrogation this girl from the road admitted she had pulled a fast one on all of them and had faked NINE MONTHS of pregnancy. How she pulled it off goodness knows, but the girl from the road fooled everyone.

So one might ask, how does this impact my decision not to give up Days of our lives. Well the answer is simple. For the past three months there was a hot storyline on Days similar to this. Nicole a character in Days of our lives has staged a pregnancy in order to stop E.J. from divorcing her. Now Nicole has not been caught, however, the correlation between the Days of our lives storyline and Memory, leads me to believe that Memory may also be an avid follower of Days like myself. And if she was able to obtain the skill set required to successfully fool a clan of people from just watching Days, imagine what I could learn . So I say this Days is a wonderful program and gives us the tools required to make it in our everyday lives. LOLOL

Well I think for a first post I have written more than I should, and I probably should save some stuff for my next post.